What’s in The Drawer? Here you’ll find stories about anything that amuses me, confuses me, or makes me blow a gasket. I complain a lot here, but that’s a good thing! Some of my regular readers consider a visit to The Junk Drawer cheap therapy. You can always come here to unwind and unload.

I arrived to Kathy’s humor blog by chance, reading a post about tweaking a blog to make money online by attracting more search engine traffic to it. The Junk Drawer was the subject of a small case study in there and I went to check it out. One hour later, I was still in the drawer, despite the fact that I had one client waiting for me to finish a job. I’m so familiar with tech support for old parents, that I can argue Kathy’s following statement any given time:

Despite our ongoing nightmare, there is one undeniable fact: My Dad may be the world’s biggest tech support challenge, but he’s the only octogenarian in his senior apartment complex who has a computer and is not afraid to use it, and I say that’s pretty cool.

This is surely cool, but I happen to know another one, who’s making me re-install his operating system every two months, because he doesn’t know any English at all, but clicks on everything that’s clickable.

Now, as Kathy says, go “take a look around the drawer. Just leave everything where you found it.”

Kathy, I left everything as you wanted. I just took your feed for my reader. I surely could use your online humor any given time.

Free online Pokemon games are my latest addiction, besides the free ringtones which I’m totally addicted to, and online dating, which amuses me every now and then.. Although I don’t watch cartoons too much, I like computer games which are based on cartoons, especially when I can find them free online. Pokemon games are so cool, with those little, cute characters, that I could play for hours and still not get enough. Free playable PC competitions are cool, and entertaining, and they can keep you online for a very long time.

Pokemon Diamond Pearl was the first I tried, and it proved to be much harder than I expected, but I still had a good share of fun. Actually this was not a free online Pokemon game, but a paid one, for Nintendo.

After buying a few more games from the Pokemon series, I discovered PokemonCrater.com, which I don’t think is still active online today.

Some more of my online Pokemon favorite free games are:

• Pokemon Kill 2
• Pokemon Revolution
• Pokemon Puzzle Challenge
• Pokemon Shoot 2

Aren’t these little, free, online flash games a lot of fun? I know a few kids from my block who refuse to play anything else but free online Pokemon games. What do you think: shouldn’t they move to some other games? What online game do you like most? Or maybe you’re only addicted to online free ringtones for your new mobile phone?

1. Problogger is organizing a $54000 birthday bash celebration

2. The latest challenge is to write an ode to problogger

3. I’m an undiscovered poet.

This is the ode I wrote for this latest challenge, not necessarily for the iPod prize (although I could use an iPod), but for the fun I had writing it, and for the sake of the comments you are going to make:

If you want to make a buck,
Do your blogging like a duck:
Cross the water all day long,
Until you see you got it wrong.

But if you want to make it strong,
Just read Problogger all night long,
Then focus better on your niches,
To get access to all those riches,

Which make a generation’s dream,
And redirect our blogging stream,
To route those fortunes our way.
Hey, Darren dear, what you’d say?

Chitika, AdSense, Text Link Ads,
We treated all like they were gods.
We’ve put them all above the fold,
Hoping one day our blog be sold,

So we could live a life of fun,
With chicks and laying in the sun,
Free from all worries, with no trouble,
As all we touch is turning double.

I’ll post this poem on my site,
Hoping sincerely that you might
Consider digging it at once,
So I can see my traffic bounce.

A successful lawyer parks his brand new Lexus in front of his office. While he attempts to get out of the car, a truck passes by in high speed and smashes the car’s door. The lawyer calls 911 immediately, and within 5 minutes the police appears. Before the policeman had the chance to say one word, the lawyer started to yell that his car was brand new, that he bought it only yesterday, and now it’s ruined, it will never be like new again. As the lawyer loses his breath and stops talking, the policeman says:- I can’t believe how materialist you lawyers are. You are so concerned with your wealth that you forget the most important things in life.- How can you say that? asks the lawyer- Don’t you see that together with the door, the truck also smashed your left arm???

- Oh, my God!!! cries the lawyer. Where’s my Rolex????

There are a few categories of people who are susceptible to be the attack of all kind of jokes. Lawyers are one of them. We all hope they have a good sense of humor, otherwise it would be hard for them to enjoy Lawyers Jokes sections like the one in Reader’s Digest. Jokes are ranked by readers, and sorted descending by ranking.

Best of all, if you think you know a better joke than all those you’ll read in Reader’s Digest, you can submit it to the magazine via their online form. Your submission can be either a joke, or a funny true story, or a quote, and the only rule is to make it at maximum 100 words or 1000 characters. It is not a must that your joke is about lawyers.

If your joke is selected to be published in the printed edition of Reader’s Digest, you win a prize of $100-$300. Isn’t that appealing? This can be one more step to wealth creation from your side.

I think I’m going to submit one, maybe I’ll finally manage to double my monthly earnings from blogging

Here are some things people look for when landing here. I’m sorry if sometimes I disappoint my readers, but that’s life: if Google thinks that my blog is about pears or cucumbers, then so it must be. Who am I to argue, anyway?

So, the funny list:

1. I don’t know what to put in the about me section
Well, maybe a few words about you would do.

2. Lose weight by not eating anything
Great idea! Just make sure before you start, to calculate how much weight can you possibly lose in 10-20 days (a thinner coffin would save money for your relatives)

3. Vampire style photoshop
I may be from Dracula’s country, but I’m not selling vampire style software.

4. Why people love unconditional
What kind of person can ask Google this question?

5. Should I go to a psychic?
Can you google some more specific things about yourself?

6. What kind of freedoms are there?
Where?

7. I’m not a health freak
Neither do I, but why did you feel the need to tell this to Google?

8. Things you should not do on a computer
I could have made a nice list if I didn’t want to keep this blog safe for work.

9. How to follow internet traffic
Land on AllTipsAndTricks every day and tell all your friends to do the same.

10. Change your picture into professional photo
This one is simple: change the photographer
What was the weirdest search of your blog readers?

1. In jail, you spend most of your time in a 8m x 10m room. In the office, you spend most of your time in a 2m x 3m cubicle.
2. In jail, you eat three meals a day. At the office, you have only one snack, which you also have to pay for.
3. In jail, you have time to meditate at your life. When you work in an office, you don’t have time for such deep thoughts.
4. In jail, there is always a guard who opens and closes doors for you. At the office, you have to do it yourself, and take care of your keys.
5. In jail, you can watch TV. At the office, if your boss catches you doing that you’re in trouble.
6. In jail, you are entitled to visits from your family and friends. At the office, you barely have any time to give them a call.
7. When in jail, the state is paying for your living and you don’t have to work. At the office, after you work and you get your salary, you pay your taxes, and what’s left?…

I suppose we shouldn’t wonder why some people choose to do things that take them back to jail immediately after they get out.

They go and start running around the church. After a while, one of them comes in: “Father, I’m done!”.

“OK”, said the priest, “but where is your friend?”

“She’s gone to bring her bycicle…”

Conclusion of the story: the bigger sinner you are, the more technology you’ll need to get away with it.

2. There is a fierce competition for the best converting keywords.

3. You have to work hard and to employ multiple tactics to get the first spot, which nobody can guarantee you’ll get to, anyway.

4. Once you got there, there’s no guarantee for how long you will be allowed to stay.

5. The algorithm which makes the choices remains unknown. The only visible parts are its sudden changes (and their results).

6. If you try too hard to optimize, you’ll get banned.

7. If you duplicate, you’ll get banned.

8. If you cloak, you’ll get banned.

9. You can leave your hat on (however, if it’s black, you may get banned).

10. A bigger PR does not necessarily translate into a better SERP position.

What else can SEO be like? Give me your thoughts, please… and leave your hat on

No matter how hard it was, I never thought to look for cheats. I don’t even know if there were any cheats available for my favourite games. The feeling of victory, when the final scene appeared on the computer screen, was so good, after the endless hours, days or even weeks of struggling! I don’t recall myself putting the same amount of passion in none of the real life projects I’ve been a part of.

I’m looking at today’s children (I know I sound like my late grandma) and I wonder every day: 4 years old girl making affiliate sales on her blog about Numberjacks (with a little bit of typing help from her daddy), 12 years old David Wilkinson running TechZi, an already PR5 and 73800 Alexa rank blog, and even my little nephew who is already the father of all Sims and who shared with me his deepest secret: a list of cheat codes of Sims 2 pets, the well-known already patch for Sims 2. This cheat codes list enables changing the pets’ clothings, collars, and even the fur patterns. For all Sims 2 Pets fans, here you can find the list which will make your play even better. To use it, just press F5 to enter the menu, then the Settings button on your screen (the one with two little wheels), then press the key symbol, and in the last menu, press the key symbol again. A text box will appear: input your desired cheat codes there and have fun!

Collars

Black Dot Cats: ZZZ11ZZZ9Q11Q91ZB1A
Black Dot Dogs: ZZZ11ZZQHZ11Q91ZB1A
Black Smiley Cats: ZZZ11ZZQ9Z1AQ91ZB1A
Black Smiley Dogs: ZZZ11ZZZ9QAAQ91ZB1A
Blue Bones Cats: ZZZ11ZZQHZAAQ91ZB1A
Blue Bones Dogs: ZZZ11ZZZHZ11Z91ZB1A
Blue Camouflage Cats: ZZZ11ZZZHQ11Q91ZB1A
Blue Camouflage Dogs: ZZZ11ZZZHZ1AQ91ZB1A
Blue Star Cats: ZZZ11ZZQ9Z11Z91ZB1A
Blue Star Dogs: ZZZ11ZZQHQ11Q91ZB1A
Green Flower Cats: ZZZ11ZZZ9ZA1Q91ZB1A
Green Flower Dogs: ZZZ11ZZQHZ1AQ91ZB1A
Navy Hearts Cats: ZZZ11ZZZ9Z11Q91ZB1A
Navy Hearts Dogs: ZZZ11ZZQ9Z11Q91ZB1A
Orange Diagonal Cats: ZZZ11ZZQ9ZA1Q91ZB1A
Orange Diagonal Dogs: ZZZ11ZZZ9Z11Z91ZB1A
Pink Vertical Strip Cats: ZZZ11ZZQ9QAAQ91ZB1A
Pink Vertical Strip Dogs: ZZZ11ZZZHZA1Q91ZB1A
White Paws Cats: ZZZ11ZZQ9Q1AQ91ZB1A
White Paws Dogs: ZZZ11ZZZ9Q11Z91ZB1A
White Zebra Stripe Cats: ZZZ11ZZZHQ11Z91ZB1A
White Zebra Stripe Dogs: ZZZ11ZZZHZ11Q91ZB1A

Fur Colors

Blue Cats: ZZZ11ZZQHZA1Q91ZB1A
Blue Dogs: ZZZ11ZZQ9Q11Z91ZB1A
Deep Red Cats: ZZZ11ZZQ9QA1Q91ZB1A
Deep Red Dogs: ZZZ11ZZQHQ1AQ91ZB1A
Goofy Cats: ZZZ11ZZQHQ11Z91ZB1A
Goofy Dogs: ZZZ11ZZZHZAAQ91ZB1A
Green Cats: ZZZ11ZZZ9QA1Z91ZB1A
Green Dogs: ZZZ11ZZQHQA1Q91ZB1A
Light Green Cats: ZZZ11ZZZHQ1AQ91ZB1A
Light Green Dogs: ZZZ11ZZZ9Q1AQ91ZB1A
Neon Green Cats: ZZZ11ZZZHQA1Q91ZB1A
Neon Green Dogs: ZZZ11ZZZ9QA1Q91ZB1A
Neon Yellow Cats: ZZZ11ZZZHQAAQ91ZB1A
Neon Yellow Dogs: ZZZ11ZZQ9QA1Z91ZB1A
Pink Cats: ZZZ11ZZQHZ11Z91ZB1A
Pink Dogs: ZZZ11ZZZ9Z1AQ91ZB1A
Purple Cats: ZZZ11ZZQ9ZAAQ91ZB1A
Purple Dogs: ZZZ11ZZQ9ZA1Z91ZB1A

Fur Patterns

Bandit Mask Cats: ZZZ11ZZQHZA1Z91ZB1A
Bandit Mask Dogs: ZZZ11ZZQHQAAQ91ZB1A
Panda Coat Markings Cats: ZZZ11ZZQHQA1Z91ZB1A
Star Coat Markings Cats: ZZZ11ZZZ9ZAAQ91ZB1A
Star Coat Markings Dogs: ZZZ11ZZZ9ZA1Z91ZB1A
Zebra Stripes Dogs: ZZZ11ZZZHQA1Z91ZB1A

Which are your favourite computer games? Did you ever use cheats?

Later edit: I noticed lots of people searching for a way to get a horse as a pet.

This is how you can obtain your horse:

Entry Location:

Breed selection

L1, R1, X, circle, square, R1, R1, X, X. Many thanks to Games Radar for providing this tip (and a lot more).

I’m going to add now to the Google knowledge portfolio, my list of “how to” blogging questions, answered. After reading it, if your blog is not going to end up in glory, at least you’ll have a big smile on your face.

Question 1: How to drive more traffic to my blog?

Answer: Put your server in the middle of the street.

Question 2: How to make money online?

Answer: Money is made by The National Bank, via their printing house. All you can do is earn it.

Question 3: How to earn money online?

Answer: Do you want to earn it for yourself, or for those teaching you how to earn money online?

Question 4: How to earn money online for my personal use?

Answer: You selfish human being! You want to keep everything for yourself, don’t you? Guys like you are a shame to humanity!

Question 5: How to earn money online, with the purpose of donating them?

Answer: Start by donating some beers to thirsty throats and money will start flowing (how do you think they came up with the term “cash flow”?)

Question 6: How to become a popular figure?

Answer: Please define “popular”. Would “Paris Hilton” match that?

Question 7: How to become the Paris Hilton of blogging?

Answer: Just don’t. Somebody else was there first, and it was not Paris Hilton (if you don’t believe it, google a little bit).

Question 8: How to get to the front page of Digg?

Answer: Just type in your browser digg.com. This should take you straight to the front page of Digg. 99% guaranteed.

Question 9: Is there any question you don’t have an answer?

Answer: Nobody has all the answers. Not even Google.